Bad Secret Santa gifts: how to avoid them and react · Santamigo
Bad Secret Santa gifts: how to avoid them (and what to do if you get one)
· 6 min read
Overspending, joke presents that misfire, the bath set grabbed on the way in: why Secret Santa gifts disappoint, how to avoid it, and what to say when you unwrap a dud.
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There is always a slightly awkward moment at the office Christmas do. Presents get opened one by one, the person next to you unwraps something that clearly took real thought, and you are holding a mug with a reindeer on it. Nobody says a word, but everyone noticed. Secret Santa works because each person gets just one present, which is exactly why each one matters. Here is where the disappointment usually comes from, how to avoid it whether you are organising or buying, and what to do when you are the one left with the dud.
Why Secret Santa presents disappoint
Rarely because the present is bad in itself. Usually it comes down to contrast. The same four situations crop up year after year:
The budget was ignored. One person spent £40, another £5. On their own, both presents would have been fine. Side by side at the unwrapping, the gap is impossible to miss.
The last-minute grab. The supermarket bath set, the tin of chocolates picked up at the till, the candle that smells of nothing much. The price is not the problem. It is the feeling that nobody actually thought about you.
The joke that falls flat. What makes the giver laugh does not always amuse the person opening it, especially in front of colleagues.
The obvious regift. A tag with someone else's name still tucked under the paper, or the thing everyone has already seen gathering dust at a friend's house.
If you are organising: three rules that prevent most flops
A lot of disappointment is settled before the draw even happens. If you are the organiser, spend five minutes setting these rules in your very first message.
A budget with a floor and a ceiling. Saying “£15 maximum” is not enough: some people will hear “anything from £3 to £15”. Give a narrow range instead, something like “around £15, nothing under £10”. That way everyone is playing in the same league.
A wish list for everyone. Three lines is enough. It is the simplest way to avoid the generic present, and our guide on helps anyone who gets stuck.
Frequently asked questions
›What should you do if you get a bad Secret Santa gift?
Say thank you and do not compare it with the other presents. Afterwards you can swap it, give it to someone who will enjoy it, or keep it for another occasion outside the group.
›Is it OK to regift for Secret Santa?
Yes, if it is new, suits the person and did not come from anyone in the group. Remove any trace of the original giver and avoid anything with a use-by date.
›How do you stop people spending very different amounts?
Give a narrow range rather than just a maximum, for example around £15 and nothing under £10, and remind everyone a few days before the exchange.
›Are joke presents a good idea for Secret Santa?
Between close friends, possibly, as long as they are still usable. At work or in a group that barely knows each other, it is better to skip them or agree a clear rule before the draw.
Ready to organise your Secret Santa?
Draw names in a minute, free and with no account. Everyone finds out who they’re giving to, in secret.
A clear rule on joke presents. Allowed or not? If they are, say they still need to be usable or edible. Plenty of offices simply leave them out.
Do the draw early too, two or three weeks before the exchange. Presents bought the night before are rarely the best ones. And if not everyone knows the Secret Santa rules, share them in the group before you draw names.
If you are buying: how not to be the story people tell in January
You have drawn a name. Start with their wish list if they wrote one, even if it looks a bit ordinary. Picking one idea and adding a small personal touch is still the safest way to get it right.
If you barely know the person, ask. On Santamigo, anonymous messaging lets you write to the person you drew without revealing who you are. One question about their size, their favourite colour or what they already own, and most of the risk disappears.
Stick to the budget in both directions. Going well over makes the other person uncomfortable, and going well under gets noticed. If you are short of ideas, our Secret Santa gift ideas under £20 are built around exactly this kind of budget.
Joke presents: funny for whom?
A funny present can work in a Secret Santa between close friends who share the same sense of humour. Anywhere else, it is a gamble. One simple rule: laugh with the person, never at them. Anything about looks, age, weight, hygiene or love life is best avoided, however kindly it is meant.
The safest compromise is funny and useful: a daft card game, an apron with a line that will make them smile, an accessory linked to a hobby they are proud of. At work, be even more careful. What is fine between two colleagues who get on can land very differently in front of the whole team. Our guide to the office Secret Santa covers these common-sense rules.
Regifting: fine, with a few conditions
Passing on something you were given and never used is nothing to be ashamed of, as long as you follow a few rules. It must be new, ideally still in its original packaging, and genuinely right for the person you drew. You regift because it fits, not to clear out a cupboard. Check it did not come from someone in the group, remove any old card or tag, and avoid anything with a use-by date, such as toiletries or food.
If in doubt, ask yourself one question: would you be comfortable if they found out where it came from? If the answer is no, keep it for another occasion.
Unwrapped a disappointing present? How to react
In the moment, just say thank you and find something you genuinely like about it: the colour, the careful wrapping, the thought of keeping you warm at your desk. There is no need to overdo the enthusiasm, nobody believes it anyway. Above all, do not compare it out loud with the present next to you. Your Secret Santa might be sitting right there.
Afterwards, there are plenty of perfectly acceptable options: swap it if there is a gift receipt, give it to someone who will love it, or keep it for a future exchange outside the group. And if a present genuinely upset you, which can happen with jokes, have a quiet word with the organiser rather than raising it in front of everyone. It is often the chance to add a rule for next year.
A few safe bets when you have no clue
With no list and no hints, go for things that get eaten, shared or used every day. They are the presents least likely to disappoint, as long as you pick a slightly nicer version.
A hot chocolate gift set
about £15
Perfect for winter, easy to share, and a good set feels far more thoughtful than a tin grabbed at the till.
On Santamigo, everyone joins through the link shared in the WhatsApp group and can fill in their wish list as soon as they sign up. Whoever draws you sees it on their own page, and anonymous messaging lets them ask you a question without giving themselves away. The organiser never sees who is buying for whom, so they can take part like everyone else.
It is free for 3 to 100 people, with no account and no ads. Data is hosted in France and deleted 60 days after the exchange.
Ready to start? Create your Secret Santa, put the budget in your invitation and ask everyone to fill in their list.
