Secret Santa rules: how the game works, simply explained
· 5 min read
The draw, the budget, exclusions and the big reveal: all the Secret Santa rules, plus how to organise it in minutes, even from a distance.
Secret Santa is the Christmas game everyone can agree on: just one present to find, a sensible budget and the fun of a surprise. The only catch is that the Secret Santa rules need to be clear to everyone. Here are the essentials, without the jargon: how it works, the budget, exclusions, the draw and the day of the exchange.
How Secret Santa works, in two sentences
Each participant draws the name of someone in the group, and buys that person a present. Nobody knows who is buying theirs: that person is their "Secret Santa".
The result? Instead of buying a present for everyone, you buy just one, and you choose it with care.
The Secret Santa rules
- Everyone gives to one person only, chosen by the draw. You can't draw yourself.
- Secrecy is the golden rule: you don't tell anyone who you've drawn until the reveal.
- A shared budget is agreed in advance, and everyone sticks to it.
- An exchange date is set: a family meal, drinks at the office, an evening with friends…
- The reveal happens on the day (or never, if the group prefers to keep the mystery alive).
How many people do you need?
You can play with as few as 3 people, but the game really comes into its own from 5 or 6, when it gets hard to guess who is giving to whom. There's no real upper limit. In offices, whole departments of several dozen people play every year.
In a family, you usually want to stop a couple from drawing each other: they already buy each other presents. At work, you might want to stop two people who sit side by side all year from drawing each other. These are exclusions: pairs of people who mustn't end up with one another.
A budget avoids awkward moments: nobody feels they have to go overboard, and nobody receives a present that sticks out. The most common amounts are:
- £10 to £15 for a group of friends or colleagues;
- £20 to £30 with family;
- an open but token budget if the group prefers handmade presents.
Announce it right at the start, along with the exchange date. And to help their Secret Santa, everyone can jot down a few wishes. Short on inspiration? Here are 15 Secret Santa gift ideas under £20.
Exclusions: couples, siblings and desk buddies
In a family, you usually want to stop a couple from drawing each other: they already buy each other presents. At work, you might want to stop two people who sit side by side all year from drawing each other. These are exclusions: pairs of people who mustn't end up with one another.
With names in a hat, handling exclusions quickly becomes a headache (and you often have to start again). An online draw applies them automatically.
The Secret Santa draw: names in a hat or online?
Drawing names from a hat has its charm, but it has three drawbacks: everyone has to be in the same room, you can draw yourself, and the organiser sometimes sees the names while preparing the slips.
An online draw solves all of that. With Santamigo, the organiser creates the group in a minute, shares a link (WhatsApp, email…), and everyone signs up with their first name. When the draw takes place, each participant finds out on their own personal page who they're buying for, and nobody else can see it, not even the organiser. It's free, with no account needed, for up to 100 participants.
Exchange day
Everyone brings their present, wrapped, with the recipient's name on it. There are two ways to go about it:
- taking turns: each person opens their present in front of the others and tries to guess who gave it to them;
- the big reveal: once all the presents are open, you reveal who was buying for whom.
Some groups prefer never to reveal the names. That's perfectly fine: in fact, it's the original spirit of the game.
A few Secret Santa variations to spice things up
- A set theme: "homemade", "shop local", "favourite book", "something red"…
- The clue present: your Secret Santa drops hints about who they are in the days leading up to the exchange.
- Virtual Secret Santa: everyone has their present delivered, and the opening happens on a video call (see our virtual Secret Santa guide).
- White elephant (or Yankee swap): everyone brings an anonymous present, then you take turns picking one, with the right to steal a present that has already been opened. It's a different game, more chaotic, but great fun.
In a nutshell
A draw, a budget, a date and a well kept secret: that's all there is to Secret Santa. The longest part is often the organising. So you may as well hand it to a tool that keeps the secret for you: create your group for free, or read our guide to organising an office Secret Santa.
Frequently asked questions
›What are the rules of Secret Santa?
Each participant draws someone in the group at random and gives them a present, without revealing who they are. The group agrees on a shared budget and an exchange date. The reveal happens on the day, or never if the group prefers.
›How much should you spend on Secret Santa?
The most common budget is £10 to £15 among friends or colleagues, and £20 to £30 with family. What matters is that everyone sticks to the same amount.
›How many people do you need for Secret Santa?
You can play with as few as 3 people, but it's more fun from 5 or 6, when it becomes hard to guess who is giving to whom.
›How do you stop a couple from drawing each other?
By setting exclusions: pairs of people who can't end up with one another. An online draw such as Santamigo applies them automatically.
›How do you do a virtual Secret Santa?
Run the draw online: everyone gets their result on their phone. The present is then delivered straight to the recipient, and the opening can happen on a video call.
Ready to organise your Secret Santa?
Draw names in a minute, free and with no account. Everyone finds out who they’re giving to, in secret.