Secret Santa wish list: what to put on it and how to use one

It happens every year. You draw a name, feel pleased for about two seconds, then realise you have no idea what that person actually likes. Then it is your turn to write down what you would like, and your mind goes completely blank. A decent wish list is what separates a present that gets used from one that ends up at the back of a drawer. Here is how to write a good one, and how to make the most of someone else's when you are their Secret Santa.

Does a wish list spoil the surprise?

It is the most common objection: if I say what I want, where is the fun? In practice, a good list does not give the answer away. It offers a few leads. Whoever drew you picks one, and you have no idea which one they will go for, or who they are. The surprise is still there, minus the risk of a dud.

It matters even more when the group is a mix of people who barely know each other. In an office Secret Santa, buying for someone from another department is pure guesswork. In a family, it is the brother-in-law you only see at Christmas. A few lines are enough to save you from a fourth novelty mug.

What to put on your list

Four or five ideas is plenty. Any more and it starts to look like an order form. Any fewer and your Secret Santa has no real choice.

1. Ideas within the budget. If the group agreed on £20, leave the £80 headphones off. Your Secret Santa will either overspend or feel they have let you down.
2. Details that prevent mistakes. Clothes size, favourite colour, shoe size, the author whose books you already own: small details like these make a huge difference.
3. A mix of specific and open ideas. Something like “book three of that series” alongside “anything for my new allotment”. One is reassuring, the other leaves room for a bit of imagination.
4. Anything you would rather not get. No candles, no bath sets, already drowning in socks: saying so is a kindness.

Stuck for ideas? A few questions to get you going

Plenty of people freeze when it comes to writing a list, especially if they already have most things. These questions help:

• What do you use every day that is starting to wear out? A dented water bottle, crackly earphones, a scorched oven glove.
• What small treat do you never buy for yourself? Proper coffee beans, a nice bar of soap, the hardback rather than the paperback.
• What would you like to try this winter? A beginner's embroidery kit, a card game for evenings with friends.
• What have you nearly bought in the last few months but never quite got round to?

If nothing comes, just say what you like: a colour, a hobby, your favourite drink. That alone is a useful lead.

Ideas to borrow for your list

To get you started, here are a few things that turn up on lists all the time and sit comfortably within a typical budget. For more, have a look at our Secret Santa gift ideas under £20.

• A hot water bottle with a knitted cover

  around £12

  Practical, cosy and very welcome in a draughty house. Mention a colour if you have a preference.

  See the productAffiliate link

• A dotted notebook

  around £10

  For lists, sketches or a journal. Say which size you like.

  See the productAffiliate link

• A card game for the pub or the sofa

  around £12

  Small, cheap, and it comes out the first time friends are round.

  See the productAffiliate link

• A tea or hot chocolate selection

  around £15

  A safe bet for anyone who spends winter with a mug in hand.

  See the productAffiliate link

• A soft fleece throw

  around £20

  For the sofa or a chilly spare room. Note the colour that would suit your place.

When you are the Secret Santa: using someone else's list

You have drawn a name and the list is right there. There is no need to follow it to the letter. Pick one idea and add something of your own: the notebook they asked for with a nice pen tucked inside, or the tea with a handwritten note. That small extra is what makes a present feel chosen rather than simply ordered.

If the list is empty, do not panic. Look at what they share in the group, quietly ask someone who knows them well, or go for something that gets eaten, drunk or played with. Those are the safest bets.

And stay within the budget, even if one idea on the list goes slightly over. It is one of the Secret Santa rules that saves a lot of awkwardness on the day.

Wish lists on Santamigo

On Santamigo, the wish list is part of the draw. The organiser drops a link into the WhatsApp group, everyone joins with their first name and can jot down a few ideas. Whoever drew you sees them on their own page, and the secret stays safe: even the organiser never sees who is buying for whom, so they can take part like everyone else.

It is free for 3 to 100 people, with no account and no ads. Data is hosted in France and deleted 60 days after the exchange.

Ready to start? Create your Secret Santa and ask everyone to fill in their list as soon as they join.